draw without drawing

I'm even 'drawing' rather than 'to draw a painting'. I just play on canvas enthusiastically with the instant feeling when something is emerging. After playing cheerfully, my actions leave a trace of my subconscious emotions as textures and subconscious forms as lines on canvas. The traces are me and I can exist as the real me on a painting consisting of hardened traces.

When I'm painting, I don't observe, think and plan anything. What to paint and how to paint do not matter to me. Without thinking of that, my arms and hands are already moving on canvas with inspiration. My moving body leave a trace on canvas. After the moving is finished, there are my childhood as the images of the trace. The things filling my subconsciousness fully are my childhood I can enjoy rather than my utopia I live in. The emerging specific clues-mostly the memory of childhood- which stimulate me not only come up but also actualize the past emotions connected with motion of my body in front of a canvas. Like this way, the clues in my subconsciousness following my present actions referring to drawing action itself instead of drawing a painting reveal subconscious emotions cheerfully as various textures on canvas and

leave a trace as subconscious forms as partly omitted or deleted lines on canvas. The left images on canvas are mostly involved with the space I used to live, the object related to me in the space and events among the objects. It's my subconsciousness and a foundation to support me. I can create a painting referring to the real my trace with my past and present time by provoking my actions.

'To draw' instead of 'to draw a painting', I should avoid the approaches of conscious, planned and logical thoughts. I can show the real me with unconscious, unplanned and emotional state. Therefore, I express clues stimulating me and the moment of spontaneous and momentary action on a canvas. Whole paper are hanging not only in my living space but also on the wall of my atelier and there are lots of scattered pencils to use them whenever I want to. I can move my arms on paper hanging on the wall with pencils if I feel something's coming up. I can do it while walking, talking on the phone and making up on face. My action is doing 'draw without drawing' while scrabbling and doodling. I spread several wide wood panels for real art works and I show emotional actions extemporaneously as clues stimulating me without plan on wood panels. It enables the cheerful actions can appear without any restriction while leaving textures and forms on canvas. To reveal the trace of actions, a unique medium needs. Since brushes and paints are not enough for that, I can display myself more honestly with clay showing the trace of my actions meeting my body directly. My whole body can play with the clay on the wood panel excitedly like clay play I used to enjoy as many ways such as poking, grabbing and hand-rubbing. Clay can leave a trace describing my emotional state without keeping secret whenever my actions are going along as swept and pressed. My actions left on clay disclose an utopia in my subconsciousness and me as flexible and open forms with vigorously living textures.